Searching for A Place to Call *Home*
The concept of *home* has been showing up a lot for me lately. I’ve always been the kinda girl who feels at home in the world, not just in one place. Sometimes I long to find a place where I feel like I can just call it home and stay there forever. Other times, I start to feel bored if I stay in the same place for too long.
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But the other day, I did this journaling exercise that asked me to write to myself 5 years ago and tell her what home feels like to me now and what she has to look forward to when creating a sense of home.
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Well, 5 years ago I was blissfully living on Oahu and convinced that I was then forever *home*...but I (still) always had this thought in the back of my mind: “where will we go next?”
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As I was writing, I realized that since then my sense of home has been tested tremendously. Leaving my forever home of Oahu for my husband’s job felt so disheartening and I’ve had to work through so much resentment and blaming myself for leaving when I didn’t want to. Then it was going back and forth between HI and the mainland, and now...well, I’ve had to let go and then embrace the idea that *home* isn’t necessarily a destination at all. It’s a place in my heart. It’s a feeling at home within myself. It’s a beautiful state of consciousness that I’m still growing into.
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Now, in a perfect world, I’ll be feeling at home within myself, in an environment that feels like home, around people that feel like home. I’m working on it.
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But, for now, I’m happy to be the nomadic mama who’s cultivating a sense of *home* within herself. And it feels really good. And I told my “5 years ago self”, right there in my journal, that that’s what she has to look forward to 💜✨
Korynn xx
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