THE RHYTHMS OF WOMEN, VOL. 5

“We met in 1996, at Radford University, during my first week at college. I don’t know how we met. I think it was at a party. We became fast friends. We had the same music taste. He lived in an apartment and I lived in a drom. I spent a lot of time at his apartment as friends. I had my first very intense relationship with someone else at the time. It was a very unhealthy relationship but I was so in love with him. Jeff was kind of a sounding board for me. I remember getting complicated feelings for Jeff but it never went any further. He had told me how he felt about me and I basically gave him the ‘You’re a great guy but I’m in a relationship’ story. After we went away for Christmas break, he never came back. He had transferred to a different school.

“During his time at Radford, his mom came to visit and she gave me her business card. He had an unusual last name, but if it wasn’t for that business card I would have never remembered his name fully. She sold jets. I remember thinking, ‘I can’t believe she thinks that I can afford one of these.’ But, anyway, I always kept the card for some reason, even when I moved to Hawaii and when I moved to Germany. I remember on my way back from Germany thinking that I should just throw that card away and something kept me from doing it.

“Fast forward to moving to Texas, 22 years later. My friend made me open a LinkedIn profile and on the profile I put what university I had gone to. So, he had seen my profile because we both had Radford as our schools and with that it showed us both as possible friend connections. We also both had the employer name in our bios and we both lived in the same area. I wrote to him and said Hi after looking at the card that his mom gave me to check the last name. He asked if I was the same Tonya from Radford University and I told him I was. He asked if we could meet for coffee. Three days later, we met and had coffee at a restaurant by my apartment. We talked with the loud Cowboys game playing in the background. A few weeks later, he invited me on a date. That time that I saw him, I knew then, by just looking at him, that he was my person. It was instantaneous. I could feel it in my bones. He said the same thing. We have a connection that’s kind of otherworldly and we’ve been together ever since.

“We both think that it’s kind of a miracle that we’ve been brought back together in this capacity. It’s definitely helped me to evolve as a human. Not by just being with him, but also by having his daughter in my life. It hasn’t all been easy. We’ve had challenges — health problems, different political views — and we’ve persevered and really worked through it. That’s been the biggest thing for me: to be able to stand and face things together, instead of turning around and running or ignoring it.”

TONYA’S RHYTHM

Fort Worth, TX

Inner Season: Autumn

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The Rhythms of Women. Sharing their stories here. Every Friday.